Dish The Dirt Highlights

July 11, 2017

 

 

At the start of the season we launched the Terriers Dish the Dirt and we've now put together who got the most votes and some of our favourite answers.

 

Quickest Player: Luke Shepherd

Favourite reply coming from Matt Barton: Luke Shepherd. Whilst seemingly gliding across the pitch like a fairy on steroids during the warm up, it is understandable for opponents to underestimate Luke’s turn of pace. They are well and truly aware of it should they have the au...dacity to take the ball around him in a match as he hunts them down like a sale item in American Apparel. I often flinch in anticipation.

 

Slowest Player: Carl Nash

Favourite answer coming from Freddie: Pfft...where do I start with this one? I wanna say Liam Todd, however he's just lazy! Can't really give it to Matt Nellist, don't want to be seen as ageist! It has to be Carl Nash hasn't it? I've seen those Ice Truckers with a neater turning circle than him. Watch out Carl's coming through! "Beep, beep, beep, beep".

 

Best Trainer: Matt Nellist

Favourite answer coming from Matt Barton: Matt Nellist. I do often wonder if Ryan is crushing glucose tablets alongside Viagra in Matt’s morning cereal, such is Matt’s passion when it comes to training. Seemingly willing to bruise friend and foe alike, even in a friendly environment, the commitment is admirable.  

 

Worst Trainer: Matt Barton

Favourite answer coming from Adam West: I don't think we particularly have a worst trainer but I will go with Matt Barton as he consistently has something to complain about.

 

Best Comedian: Jack Mac

Favourite reply coming from Matt Barton: Jack Mac. He does amuse me so. From the shell suit top and grandad tweed to his mazy runs and inevitable disappointment and cries of ‘yippee’. I’m still working out if it’s the laughing with or at in all honesty.

 

Biggest Moaner: Liam Todd / Stuart Allaway

Favourite reply coming from Adam West: Liam Todd or Stuart Allaway, cant pick between the two. For a big lad Liam is quick to hit the deck and b**ch about it afterwards.

 

We also got this reply from Freddie though: Only one person comes to mind...Dan Nixon! Jeez, if you don't pass him the ball so that he can shoot from 50 yards out, or if you hit the ball long, don't look at him. Definitely DO NOT talk to him...valium comes to mind!

 

And then this reply from James Bayes: I love on pitch whining, so I'd have to go with those who tolerate this the least and none more so than Mr Barton himself, a man once described as the best header of a ball by what I can only assume was a drunk Matt Nellist (either that or Matt has never seen anyone head a ball ever) he gets stuck in during training but as it begins to peter out each Sunday it's only a matter of time before he's kneeling in the corner of the pitch having become nihilistic over the course of the last 15 mins yet still remaining fabulous too! Amazing stuff.

 

Hard Man: Matt Nellist

Favourite reply coming from Stuart Allaway: Hard man goes to Matthew Nellist. If I was gonna get in a fight I know he would have my back, Unlike someone not naming names (Carl "runaway" Nash).

 

Best Taste In Clothes: Luke Shepherd

Favourite reply coming from Freddie: Lukey Shep or Liam Ashton. Well, Liam has just cloned in to Luke over the past few seasons anyway, so this one is a tie!

 

Worst Taste In Clothes: Jack Mac

Favourite reply coming from James Bayes: The best thing I can say here is, check out Davey Liddle's comedy CV profile picture, how can a guy wear an outfit that screams "I hate my dad" and "daddy's boy" in equal measure?

 

Most Intelligent: Matt Barton

Favourite reply coming from Chris Cannings: Matt Barton, the way he manages to dive and fake injury/death is very clever, he’s fooled me a couple of times. Obviously if there are any referees reading, I’m only talking about in training.

 

Least Intelligent: Liam Todd

Favourite answer coming from Stuart Allaway: I'm gonna have to say myself and Liam Todd. I can't decide who's more stupider. We're like three peas in a cob (editors note: this should be three peas in a pod, thus proving Stuart's point).

 

There was also this reply from Chris Cannings: Stuart Allaway Nothing more to add. Well actually, I think the 2015 election was a highlight when he managed to vote for the Conservatory Party.

 

But then we also had this response from Adam West: Liam Todd just for his calamitous house move where he managed to lose half his cutlery on the M62 and then stand on a cactus before coming to football training the next day. Stuart Allaway however gets an honourable mention.

 

Who Spends The Most Time In Front Of The Mirror: Luke Shepherd

Fravourite reply coming from Matt Barton: Dan Nixon. Through endless snapchat messages in front of his bedroom mirror and more tan lines than I can count, I have probably seen more of Dan than most. Ok that’s a lie; we all know most people have seen more than just Dan’s tan lines…

 

Biggest Hit With The Lads: Rob Graham, Dan Nixon & Stuart Allaway

One of the favourite answer coming from Jonny Ball: Recently, I've been seeing a lot of attention for the, shall we say, more mature members of the team. Maybe the young guys like a nice sugar daddy to keep them warm. Chris Cannings has been getting a lot of attention of late.

 

But another from Matt Barton was also a good one: Stuart Allaway. In terms of sheer volume, Allaway is out in front. I half expect he has a ticketing allocation system like Argos in his flat (I don’t want to know what you get at collection points A, B and C in this scenario).

 

Worst Drinker: Josh Sedman

Favourite Answer from Jonny Ball: Oh man, has to be Josh Sedman. His outlook on Sunday training is 'if I can see you by 11:30pm on a Saturday night, I'll be at training'. Actually, I changed my mind! Do not let Carl Nash near the Gin is all I can say, on one poker evening Carl made an imaginary friend in the toilet after a few too many glasses of gin. We'll never let him forget that gin is not his friend.

 

But we also got this reply from Davey Liddle: Josh clearly had a drinking problem. That problem was that he usually had football the next day. Now a midfielder (runs around centre-circle), he can’t get away with it like he did as a Striker (regularly putting balls into orbit). I don’t think it’ll be a problem anymore. Nights out don’t tend to be as hard core when you’re a dog owner!

 

And then this was an added extra from Davey later on: After a night out, Josh plays like he smells. (Editor notes: He's that bad of a drinker Davey has decided to give him a extra vote)

 

But poor Josh then also got it later on from James Bayes: Josh Sedman Because if you can get so drunk you convince yourself you're a midfield player despite having the passing range of Stephen Hawking and similar turning circle then maybe booze is not for you!

 

Worst Driver: Chris Cannings

Favourite answer coming from Stuart Allaway: Chris Cannings, was in the car with him once and he has assisted reversing on his car that makes a noise when you get close to something and he still managed to reverse into a post.

 

We also had this reply from Freddie: Chris Cannings, not because of his driving skill, but because of his diabolical taste in music! If you ever want to pump yourself up before a game and you're in Chris' car, may I suggest headphones.

 

Best Driver: Carl Nash

Favourite answer coming from Freddie: Carl Nash. I remember we were running late for a fixture at 11 and Carl was probably just as drunk as he was when he left the Penny at 6am. My god, even the Police van next to us didn't stop Carl running a red light and getting us to the pitch on time!

 

Most Under The Thumb: Matt Barton

Favourite answer coming from Matt Barton: Jack Mac. The days of him asking to kiss me as I have ‘blowjob lips’ are well and truly behind us. Please request a listen of some drunken voicemails from Peter to see how far gone in the love trap they both are.

 

Always Late: Matt Rogers

Another one of our favourite replies coming from Matt Barton: Matt Rogers. As the only one of the few who ‘accidentally’ arrives after any physical warm up, who doesn’t actually need it, this consistency is commendable. It’s probably for dramatic effect to ensure he has everyone’s attention for when he inevitably takes his top off.

 

Always Losing Footballs: Dan Nixon

Favourite Answer from Jonny Ball: There are two that spring to mind, Luke Shepherd for his 1980's defensive mentality of "get it out" which as a keeper, I personally love. The second is Liam Todd, for his Bobby Zamora mentality when it comes to shooting.

 

Managers Pet: Dougie

Favourite Answer coming from Matt Barton: Adam West. Adam has regressed from the front line through the midfield via the wing to defence, accomplishing what an ageing footballer does over the course of 10 years in 10 months. Having dispensed with his ‘trap and go’ signature trick, he has seemingly enamoured Joshua with his new found wing back skills.

 

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